Oscar Stew

Boohoo or woohoo? However you feel, it’s that time of year again. It’s the time when the kids are off to the salt mines…err..school again. Again for Drew anyway, who is in the 3rd year of his formal education. But what about Brinley?!

We’ll get to Brinley in just a second. We’ve got to verify that these nerds are qualified for the grades they’re in first. This is an old hat for Drew, who flashed through his assessment before Rowan even found the drinking fountain…

Ok Brinley, your turn. It’ll be no sweat for you to find the hypotenuse of the calculus cosine trigonometry while doing 1147.92 upside-down push-ups. Like I said: No sweat Binnie!

Don’t be jealous Brinley, them older kids done got to stays at school more longer to get learned all that hard stuffer they not teached in kindergräten.

First of the second for the Scoob. We got two thumbs way up from Mr. Confidence…

But then, the mob rolled in. How’s a kid to find his class lineup in a riot like this?

Looks like any lingering apprehension quickly faded into diesel fumes. Nice job Scoob!

Mother of Abraham Lincoln! Is today finally the day?

Alright Brinley, you will now be schooled in the art of “morning routine”. Let’s start off by having all the parts of a nutritious breakfast.

After you’re properly stuffed, make sure to stuff a juicy snack into the backpack.

Now get your hair did.

Not excited. Nope. Nuh-uh. Not even a little.

Here comes the mob again! Hold your ground!

No visible jitters today. Just love. Awwww…

And there she goes! Have fun Binnie!

On with our lives…this one was all broke up about being the oldest at home, and shared her thoughts on the subject at the PTO’s “Coffee & Cry”. More like “Lemonade and Woohoo!” (insert evil empire music here)

Sorry Roastie, your reign lasted only 3 hours. Brinley’s back…with extra credit!

Summer days driftin’ away, and we’ve had us a blast. Now we’ve got to cruise down memory lane and bring you up to date on the past.

Here’s the crew, crazy and cute as can be. They’re all blindfolded for a surprise they can’t see. We went to a place where what they serve’s frozen. Most of the time it gets all over Rowan.

Too much rain on the fourth, caused the lights in the sky to be moved to the fifth, of course!

We came to watch bombs burst, but it was a bust when the goatheads came poking right from under us!

It was horrible! We made a scene! Now we’ve been recruited to get this car clean…

It’s alright, this job we can rock, we aint your average new kids on the block.

Man up, water down, don’t use too much or the driveway might drown! That’s the story I’m selling him anyway, he’s not the one who’s gotta pay.

Scrub here, scrub there. Can you find dirt anywhere?

All that hard work is making them sweat, but that doesn’t give this one a reason to fret.

She’s got time to wiggle her toes, make funny noises and gaze at rainbows.

Rainbows?!  What the muff? Don’t you know what goes along with that stuff? Thunder, lightning, maybe hail too! Keep an eye on the sky or it might get you!

It’s all good, we didn’t hear so much as a pop, and now we can rest while enjoying this here lollipop.

See, it’s not a lump on my head. This ball of sticky goodness just so happens to be red. 

I peed in the pot, not in my pants, so I’ll enjoy this reward before I hand it off to the ants.

When you’re seven, you should learn to quilt,  it’s even manlier than wearing a kilt.

Even a sewing machine can be a man’s best friend. It’s guaranteed to wins the ladies’ hearts in the end.

Pin. Sew. Press. That’s the name of the game. Hey Binnie, don’t you think that headband looks kinda….the same? As your dress I mean. I wouldn’t want to say something to make you scream.

Oops! It’s okay, doing everything right the first time would get boring, they say…

It’s OK Binnie, you’re beginning to learn, right sides together prevents heartburn!

There you go, almost finished now. It’ll be a masterpiece that makes everyone say WOW!

Feeling hungry? Get out the pot! Cook something yummy but doesn’t make your teeth rot.

In the macaroni goes, make sure to turn down the heat or it might overflow!

Hey! You two with the book! Remember when that mean guy in the movie said not everyone can cook?

Can’t fool us, this stuff is the best! Our ears to the critics are deaf!

Why are you so good at making a mess, and always manage to enjoy sugar while in a dress?

They got little hands, little eyes, little noses, and little teeth, but I don’t mind having short people around me.

The pooch has gone hooch!

At the end of the day, when it’s all been done, go watch a tractor. It’s for fun.

That’s it, I can’t go any farther. Trying to rhyme about this many pictures is just getting harder. The end.

Eleanor has been showing a strong interest in food for about a month. While I’d like to indulge her voracious appetite, I am already mourning the loss of innocent, sweet-smelling diapers. Our freezer isn’t stocked with an arsenal of homemade baby food yet, so hold your horses Eleanor! We’re on the job! We have let her enjoy a few nibbles, just to torture her palate…ha!  

What the? This doesn’t look like food! Don’t let my baby face fool you, I know what you’re up to!

Ok, ok. I’ll give this toy a taste anyway…

Tra-la-la-la-la playing and slobbering on this toy, doot-da-doo… Hey, wait a minute!

Mmmm, this toy is good! Tastes just like…uhh…tastes like…uhhh…I’ll get back to you when I learn how to say “banana”.

I will now take this opportunity to show off my super suction power…look Ma, no hands!

Mama says it’s good  to share, but I’m not so sure I can peel my hot little lips off of this thing…

Cuz it’s mine! I saw it first! All mine! Nom nom nom…

Sleep is a precious resource when it comes to raising kids. Parents need it. Kids need it. Sometimes they need each other to need it. However you look at it, sleep is essential…regardless of what you may have attempted in college. Here at Insomniac University we are having some difficulty getting the female student body to sleep in their assigned dorms. Eleanor should be in the crib, Rowan on a twin, and Brinley on the full in her room. How’s it going? IT’S NOT.

Ella-moose outgrew her bassinet a couple months ago and was forced into off-campus housing, spending her nights and naps in a pack ‘n’ play we loaned from a friend. Does this co-ed look hungry to you?

Eleanor’s plight is due to Rowan’s refusal to give up the crib. This was just supposed to be for junior college and it seems this sophomore intends to make this a three year plan… 

Did you notice that she’s not even in her crib? This made Eleanor really angry!

The reason for this is due to the Student Housing Authority’s attempts to make the crib feel and appear more apartment-style and less like a dorm. Looks like last night’s all-nighter has caused this student to miss this afternoon’s art class.

The rookie is present and accounted for! Is this art a group project? Because I don’t think everyone deserves equal credit!

We were able to convince the R.A. to join with us in our effort to resolve this issue. He came up with a plan to demonstrate the benefits of the open floorplan. Will it work?

It appears to be a success, but did he really need to physically restrain her? I hope her parents don’t hear about this!

Or about this! I said freedom to sleep, not freedom to streak!!

This type of behavior will not be tolerated. We cannot have the student body baring their bodies in protest of our alleged housing discrimination.

To smooth things over we decided to invite her to the brunch that the Board of Trustees was having the next morning. It appears that the housing problem isn’t the only issue we have to deal with: Campus security caught the student trying to confiscate college property!

And why does this student still look so hungry? Did she lose her meal card?

Fortunately the perceived theft was just a misunderstanding. The faculty and the student saw eye to eye and were able to discuss the current housing challenges.

We were able to direct this student to the Administration Office where she was issued a new meal card. She sent us this picture of her distended stomach as a thank you. This is in violation of the Student Code of Conduct, but we chose to defer legal action due to the circumstances… 

As an added benefit to the pupil our Ladies’ Physical Education instructor created a curriculum to help struggling undergrads build endurance, muscle, and fat as part of the Freshman 15 Program.  

Our first-year class continues to plump up nicely. We like them big and chunky!

The S.H.A. continued to labor with the stubborn scholar by providing alternative slumber options. It appears that one of her roommates is following her bad example. 

A critical step is now a success! Now if the Housing Authority can convince her that her place is on a twin mattress like the other graduates, we will be  on track to reduce overcrowding and make room for open enrollment next fall…NOT.

Now that I’m five months old I am finally ready for some bigger toys. I’m working on hand-eye coordination, sound recognition, and I can even hold my head up! That’s right! My older sibs each partied on this set eons ago, and now it’s my turn. It’s going to be…wait for it…legendary!!

I have just one question: Are you ready to ROCK?!

Its gonna be a really tough project, you’re gonna have to use your head, your brain and your mind too. Huh?!

Alright, now that I’m settled into my throne, it’s time for a sound check…lets JAM!!

Flam flam ding pow boom crash! This is perplexing!

The show is about to start! Raise the Banner of Rock!

Here come all the fans! We are gonna blow the top off this joint tonight!

What do you mean the pyrotechnics aren’t ready? I’ve got them right here in my pants! 

No lip syncing here, I was born to wail!!

Here’s what we think of critics! Keep the tomatoes to yourself!

I…wanna rock ‘n’ roll all night…and party everyday!