Oscar Stew

Good morning! I’ll bet you’ve been wondering when Mommy & Daddy were going to make this post! Well the wait is over! I’m here, and now it’s time to celebrate…me! Did you know that my nickname Fletcher means arrow-maker? That’s kinda funny, because now my name is Archer, the arrow shooter! Ha!

While I bask in the glow of the delivery room heat lamps, let me fill you in on the details: Archer David Farnsworth, born November 3rd at 4:52 am, 7lbs 5oz, 20.5 inches long, and pink! Mommy was at the hospital for less than an hour before I decided to show up, and everything went smoothly. I had my right hand hooked over my left shoulder when I came out…I was reaching into my quiver for an arrow, just in case!

Mommy! They poked me in the foot when I wasn’t looking and the heat lamps turned off! Mommy!!!

I was transferred from the spacious delivery room into a luxurious recovery closet. Seriously, that room was maybe 80 square feet and was shaped like a bean; no square walls at all! I’m still balling up my fists just thinking about it!

Just kidding, I’m all chill. Now it’s time for my close-up! Rowan says those are sparkles on my nose!

Don’t be fooled, I can see what you’re doing! I may or may not have been smirking just now…

Time to catch some z’s. I hear there are some excited siblings of mine coming to pay tribute. I want to be well-rested when my people arrive!

I’m still napping, but it’s ok…it’s two-thirds of what I do all day. Nice to meet ya Brinley!

Hold on tight Rowan, don’t let me go! I’m feeling a little nervous about your grip…or i just pooped.

It was poop. That’s ok, this hospital wizard robe made the diaper change a snap. Hi there Big Sis Eleanor, how do you like your new title?

‘Sup bro?! There’s no denying that you are the most excited sibling, right Drew?

We’re making plans…mischievous plans! Cuz that’s what boys do!

Time for a parts check: Make sure I have the correct number of fingers and toes…don’t let Ellie do the counting!

Let’s head down to the family lounge, I hear there’s free ice cream in there. That’s right Ellie, everybody be quiet! We want all that ice cream for ourselves.

I’ve been poked, prodded, tested, and endured a slight traditional modification to my man parts. I’ve had my fill of this place! Time to put on my super-cool-homemade-go-home outfit and get the heck outta here!

Once home, I ditched that scratchy petroleum-based “disposable” thing and slipped into something far more comfy…ahhh!

I’m snug, warm, and vibrating. I think I’m gonna like this place.

I suppose I should take a peek before I make a final decision though. What’s that up there?

While I was chillin’ on the inside, Mommy was busy on the outside! Look at all my cool one-of-a-kind homemade outfits!

Since the price of cotton shot up recently, some of the fabrics for my duds were scored at thrift stores. All those solid colored shirts were custom dyed (more on that later!)

Quality boy-themed fabrics are hard to find…I think bikes, rockets, cars and trucks will do…

High-contrast patterns are essential to neurological stimulation. Can you see my gears turning?

Leading experts also say that Mozart makes babies smarter…so how come all I hear is Veggietales, Dora & Daniel Tiger?!

I think I’ve seen enough to settle on this place. Time to work on another one of my talents…

This picture makes you want to yawn. Just admit it.

Naptime’s over, and I’m in a new outfit. Are we going somewhere?

Ah, road trip! I got my vanilla scented binky, somebody pull down the shade!

We went. We bought. We ate. Happy Thanksgiving. Even Grandpa & Grandma Johnson, Kelsey, and Jenna were there. Yeah, I got passed around, but I was comfy the whole time! Don’t you wish you could be so stylish in sweatshirts and elastic waistbands?

This…is my pooping face.

And this is my poopy face! C’mon over Daddy, I got a mustard-colored surprise for you!

Another cheap way to expand a wardrobe: buy white baby items and custom dye them! Meet my sweatshop employees:

(disclaimer: we recommend dyeing with permanent fiber-reactive dyes, not the cheap RIT stuff you can find in stores.)

They didn’t seem to mind the low wages or the peculiar uniforms…

They just can’t get enough of serving me.

Ok, there may have been one little protest…but that was because she didn’t get a shirt for herself. Tough beans, Bob!

I’m wearing my new blue hat and my salmon-colored shirt. Salmon is the boy version of pink. It”s a manly color…

“…Everybody finds somebody someplace, There’s no telling where love may appear, Something in my heart keeps saying, My someplace is here…”

I see all kinds of colors and shapes, I hear all kinds of sounds, and I feel all warm and cozy…I like bathtime!

Leave me in here until I’m extra pruny! I’m gonna raise hell when I get out!

You didn’t want to see a pic of the hell-raising part…just me snug as a bug.

It’s time for my P90X Insanity Tae Bo MMA workout with Jane Fonda. Hiiiiyah!

Phew! I think I may have burned off .006 ounces. Time for…zzzzzzzzzz…

I’m pretty good at this, by the way…

You’ve heard of man caves…this is how they start…a comfy chair, a blanket and a couple markers… 

All that working out AKA eat/sleep/poop-ing is paying off: I’m such a beefcake now; I’ve gained almost a pound a week since I was born! I’m coming close to outgrowing some of my super-cool outfits, like this one:

Daaaad, you’re trying too hard…just be cool, like me. And what’s up with those pants?!

Pssshhh! We finally have a moment to come up for air! It’s been quite a “dynamic” year for us, with plenty more action still to come. It’s been 4 months since we last posted, so there is plenty of news to cover. But not all at once!

Fletcher is coming soon! Who is Fletcher, you ask? Fletcher Floyd Farnsworth is the preposterous and fictitious name of our unborn child. Yes, Fletcher is a boy. Three months ago we did a complete rearrange of the kid bedrooms and made boys and girls rooms. We painted the walls, trim, ceiling & doors just like we did in the other rooms we’ve renovated. Ellie was pumped about moving up to a big girl bed. She was choo-chooing like a train!

Yes, the girls room is aqua blue. What’s missing from that picture is girly bedding and curtains that make it into a girls room. The roommate reassignment involved some Craigslist purchases and some furniture refurbishment. Brinley looks thrilled!

Aw, she was just playing! She was more than happy to be Daddy’s lumber assistant once she figured out a way to keep her safety goggles secure!

Welcome to Farnsworth Farmacy, we got the good stuff. Poor Drew, his tonsils were identified by the good doctor as being carriers of strep, and when you’re a carrier of such affliction you unavoidably share it with those around you. All the kids got strep multiple times in less than 6 months until we decided that it was best to take more drastic measures…

We decided that it was time to have those rotten tonsils taken out. On operation day Ryan tried to keep Drew in good spirits about the whole ordeal, being able to relate having had his tonsils jerked out when he was only 4. It was hilarious to take the the triceratops’ tonsils out with a chainsaw and a rusty shovel…

But then Daddy had to reassure that the doctor was not going to use such crude tools on our first-born. Does he look convinced?

Even the triceratops looks upset. I don’t really know why…he’s wearing Fletcher’s homemade pajamas! Drew actually refers to the triceratops as “Fletch”, so maybe the spirit of his little bro was there to help him make it through?

Drew went around the moon and came back again. He and Fletch look much more at ease now…

The most painful day of recovery from tonsil surgery comes about a week later. Eating or drinking anything feels like trying to swallow a sea urchin. Stay hydrated Scoob, you’ll feel better tomorrow!

Since he didn’t feel like eating any of his enormous inventory of ice cream that day, Ellie was more than happy to oblige. Poor Ellie; way to take one for the team!

We had a garden this year, just like the last 4 years. Despite it being somewhat neglected it managed to survive the hottest, driest summer ever and produce some yummy foods. We tried our hand at potatoes and succeeded!

Part of the success is that Rowan wants to eat them!

These are “new” potatoes because, according to wikipedia, they are immature or young…they’re small, buttery, and delicious! And next year we are growing a years supply!

I don’t think they’re that delicious Ellie…

Drew & Rowan’s former bedroom was too small to have a twin bed, a crib, changing table and 2 dressers in it. So it became a creamy yellow cave of craftiness instead:

The new sewing room has turned into a baby clothes making factory. The hand-me-downs left over from Drew are, uh…old. And covered in Pooh…of the Winnie variety. And that just won’t do…

Making clothes for a boy has been more of a challenge, but it sure is exciting to see a drawer full of handmades awaiting the arrival of this little guy.

Being of a smaller square foot, the new sewing room needed to optimize it’s storage ability. Ryan made these shelves from plywood, next up is a custom sewing desk…adios kitchen table. Unfortunately one of Ryan’s best carpentry consultants Grandpa Dave“Jeep” passed away in July, but Ryan is still aiming to make something that at least imitates his fine work…

The old expansive office/sewing room became the new boys room, complete with navy blue walls and steely gray furniture.  Drew was most excited about the super secret cubby that Ryan made using part of the old headboard. Curtains and art are obviously on the to-do list, but for now baby clothes are more fun to sew!

Do the boys like their new room? Scoob and Fletch approved. Nice to see you 100% again Drew! Guess what time it is?

It’s time to go to school! 4th grader & 2nd grader are thumbs up about their education!

They’re also excited for another reason: New school! Due to a boundary change our ‘hood got reassigned to a different lodge of learning. We took the tour, met the teachers, and asked plenty of questions. It’s been 2 months since then, and we’re all happy with the change…

Guess what Rowan? The bigs are away at school, so that makes you Slave #1! Do you remember what happens every September? We make salsa!

Step 1: Peel the skins off the tomatoes…

Step 2: Discuss how good this salsa is going to taste in late January when it’s dreary and colorless outside…

Small fingers seem to have a natural ability with removing tomato skins. So it’s not just making her feel important!

Step 3: Cook the salsa. Topless.

I don’t think Maggie is a big fan of this roommate reassignment! You girls…

Rowan could hardly contain herself when the news came that she too would be a sophomore of science. Pre-school here she comes!

You’re very cute Roastie. Are you trying to look smarter? Those squinty eyes are helping! HA!

I’m sorry to inform you that pre-school is only one day a week. Is that still ok? Alright!

We’re running out of slaves! Ellie, go get some ‘matos!

Nevermind, it’s Saturday morning. Some kids sleep in. Some kids watch cartoons. These kids got the beets!

Eeesh, it’s been almost 3 months since our last post! We can easily use the excuse that there’s been a lot going on. We’ve dealt with more than our share of illness since we last posted while trying to handle the ever-growing stresses of life, the end of the school year, computer problems, and other hobbies like sewing, letterboxing, gardening, and chasing the dog. But summer is coming, and if we have any hope of cherishing any family memories that we make over the next few months we had better sum things up quick!

So yeah, school’s out for summer. Drew & Brinley are pretty bummed:

This post is going in reverse order by the way. Before D&B could make summer official they had to rip down the sign. This task may have taken more than one attempt. A little bit less tape next year Ryan…

That’s using your new 4th & 2nd grader heads! The full weight of the Scoob plus Brinley’s sucker stabber brought that banner down like hail in July. (that’s my reverse psychology weather jinx: if I talk about hail all the time, then the garden will stay hail-free & safe, right?)

It’s important that we have this tradition so that all the neighbors on our block will be warned about the potential pandemic on their hands, vermin running loose, spreading disease and lowering their property values. Did I just say that?  

No more elephants. That reference will remain top secret. We can neither confirm nor deny. Black helicopters, grassy knolls. Suited men with wires in their ears.

Where are your backpacks? Lunch boxes? Textbooks? Ah, the last day of school is a good day to come bearing gifts for teacher. Earn that A!

This is not the only close-up view of these multi-purpose bags…

What would a completely unique, custom-made creation be without a permanent personal note sewed into it? Just a bag.

The reviews of each teacher are glistening!

One of Drew’s final school projects was to participate in a “live” museum. Can you guess who he was?

Not the Cat, but the Cat’s owner, Theodor Seuss Geisel aka Dr. Seuss. Nobody would’ve guessed if he was just an old dead guy in a suit.

The live museum had an interesting lineup of characters…

When no kids were around, Drew…er…Dr. Seuss would remain completely motionless…

But every once in a while, a student would come by and push the button…

And then Dr. Seuss would fill your mind full of all kinds of factoids & foolishness!

Brinley’s class was assigned to run some how-to seminars. Can you guess what topic Brinley chose? No, it wasn’t how to pick your nose or how to annoy your teacher. (those were real topics that other kids “performed”!) 

Brinley’s demo might as well have been on QVC, she was talking and demonstrating at the same time. Even the boys were riveted!

After sewing for only 3 seconds she pulled this finished quilt off the machine. Just like the infomercials!

‘Nother day, ‘nother reading of poetry and movie scripts down at Central Perk.

Brinley’s romantic comedy got 2 enthusiastic thumbs up. One each from Mommy & Daddy. How come not 4 thumbs? Because Rowan & Ellie were in the other hand. HA!

Drew’s car may have not been the fastest. It wasn’t the slowest either. But it certainly was unique, and getting the award for most creative is something he earned.

The drag strip isn’t such a drag, is it Drew?!

Here’s some glamour shots of Drew’s custom ranch truck, complete with doggie.

It appears the dog is guarding a rather large loot of chocolate bars. And really, if this is to scale, that dog is a bear with a crowbar in its mouth. Yikes!

Nice cuts Scoobie. That truck is starting to come together!

Daddy ensured that if there was amputation involved, it would be his finger, not Drew’s.

Meanwhile, Drew made cutting out a pinewood ranch truck while wearing safety glasses look cool.

Brinley’s kindergarten teacher made a get-to-know-you poster for herself, and included some of Brinley’s memories.

You make a fine weather girl B-Rock. Speaking of rocks, any ice rocks in the forecast?

During each other’s parent teacher conferences the schooled siblings honed their computer-hacking skills, complete with noise-reducing headphones. Rowan was convinced that dimples would help swindle her way into another turn on the PC…

And if that didn’t work, Ellie would try the bit-lip technique. Who taught you girls these tricks, or were you born with them already installed?

Take it easy on the world today, ok kids? No stealing identities, no DefCon 1, no power plant shutdowns. How about Angry Birds? That’ll keep you occupied for hours!

It was kinda funny/scary how they just innocently walked up to these computers, entered a 12-digit password (no joke!) and gained access to the world.

Those pouty innocent looks weren’t getting them anywhere at the book fair:

1st grade is for field trips, and I am on the bus with Bean-Bob once again. She gets really embarrassed when I come with her on these things.

February’s pack meeting theme was “camping”. All the cubbies made themed cakes. Drew’s was definitely the hottest!

I dunno, do you really think all that chocolate and sugar make you warmer? Drew seems to think so.

Those flames and logs sure are enticing me. Can I have a nibble? Just a spark?

How did you make those flames anyway? Draw the flames on paper, put melted chocolate in a bag and draw on the wax paper? Ingenious idea Scoobers!