one-ton eleanor

Hi there. You’re at the right place! This is still the same Ristorante della OscarStewio; there’s just been a slight menu change. We no longer offer the mint chocolate chip theme (it was really stale and freezer burned), but instead a more spacious and warm environment where you can enjoy the show. Thanks for stopping by! We do have a special request today: Please use your arrow keys to scroll down rather than the mouse, otherwise it may frighten the elephant…

Eleanor had her very first birthday! Can you believe a year has flown by? What would a birthday be if the birthday fairy(ies) didn’t come and trash your room? Not a birthday at our house, that’s fo sho!

It was very considerate of the birthday fairies to consider the height of the celebrated one by creating a magical gateway just for her. 

Happy 1st Birthday Eleanor! Brinley planted some love while Ellie enjoyed a pancake at the breakfast our ward threw in her honor. That’s what the Bishop said, honest!

You know what they say, kids are just as excited about the box the presents come in as they are about the actual toy. 

Nice present Ellie! It looks just like you! It’s a Little People doll that makes happy sounds at home! Oh and look! It goes splish-splash in the tub and and flushes the toilet…I’m not so sure we’re happy about that last feature…

Make your own dang cake! That may be tough when you’re one, but it’s not hard to taste it. Way to be a dainty little lady!

Nevermind…nom nom nom!

Whatcha got there E? Props to the Scoob for helping her remember what to do with wrapping paper!

Looks like this toy is a winner…times 4! And it tastes good too! Bonus!

Call the cops! These “helpers” are stealing all of Ellie’s birthday crackers! At least she got 2 handfuls to herself.

meh, whatever. Rowan is a good at sharing, even if it’s not hers. Thanks Ellie!

Check out the loot!  A house, exotic crackers, an up-cycled quilt, new friends, an entertainment center, aaaaaand new clothes?! Can’t top that!

Oh yes you can! Behold, the sacrificial…elephant.

What’s the matter Drew, you think that the rest of us are just getting the leftovers? You’re right! Haha!

Things are getting gory around here. First we kill a baby elephant, then cover it in frosting and sprinkles. And as if that wasn’t enough, we drive a wax stake into it’s spine and light it on fire! Oh the cruelty! 

They say that all the parts of an elephant can be used to enhance and beautify. First start with a silky skin mask…

Apply liberally to the face and hands. Also intended for oral use.

Dig in to the body and apply the fluffy scrub, be sure to get plenty between your fingers…

Remove all those callouses from a hard year’s work.

Exfoliate the face. Don’t be shy!

That mascara is looking a little thick. Aren’t you a bit young for that?

Eleanor was savage enough to keep the poor thing from running away by going for it’s legs first. Do not have pity on the little elephant. It’s destiny as diaper fodder still awaits!

Sunday morning and Ellie’s now 1 and 1/365th years old. She sat down to enjoy a quiet moment and a cracker when she thought she saw a puddy-tat!

Just kidding, it was Ro-Dog, coming to share some sisterly love. Aww…

…mmmph…Rowan…sisterly love…smother…can’t breathe…lights fading…*cough*