uncivil unions

Yes, that’s Drew. Only 8 years old and already trashin’ cars…while holding a bouquet of flowers?! How did it all come to this you ask? His collapse into floral-assisted crime starts at the very beginning…of the day that is…

The purpose of our first visit to Utah was for Dan & Kassidy’s wedding. This is the first wedding on my side of the family since our wedding 10 years ago! Hooray! Both you girls are pretty, but get off the window sill now! What are you chicas looking at anyway?

Ah, I see! Not a bad view during a wedding breakfast eh?  

We toured the rest of the JS Memorial building after the breakfast. I don’t think Ryan was able to convince the kids that Joseph Smith was actually that tall. Or that white. 

While Dan & Kassidy were getting ready for pictures the kids decided to do some exploring. Don’t get too close to that cave or a temple troll will reach out and snatch you! Ooh! Looks like Rowan’s feeling a pinch!

Oh Ellie, you’re so predictable. Why do you always get so dirty in homemade dresses! It pains me…

Speaking of dirty…you can’t see it, but somebody strung a tripwire across here to force an early bouquet toss! Diabolical!

Brinley made a good catch and returned this orange bud to its place. Nice job Binnie!

As a reward for good behavior you kids are now going to be put to work. Ha! I can tell you’re pretty bummed about this!

Good work kids. Keep that princess dress off the ground!

Hey, not too high off the ground! We don’t want Kassidy to be a blushing bride!

Oh I get it now. Make Kassidy have a Marilyn Monroe moment so you can grab the bouquet.

Daddy has some great news for you girls: There will be many much bouquets at the reception! Still, Eleanor was sad to see the one go back to its rightful owner… 

Now before you can have your flowers you all have to sit, smile, and look at the camera…all at the same time. Brinley!

On to the reception! That’s a nice festoon of floral you got there Roastie!

It may appear that Rowan & Eleanor are comparing their identical bouquets, but what they’re really doing is laughing at the video Rowan just took of Ali eating his pen!

Inspector Ellie from the FTD is on official floral business…

Cut flowers need moisture Ms. Inspector! Go ahead and give those stems a lick!

As appetizing as licking sticks stems sound, the appetizers were much more tasty.

Ahh! Bob just got plate-jacked. You won’t miss those grapes, will you?

How rich is that fudgey cake Drew? Looks like it’s too rich for a po’ boy like yourself who’s used to whole wheat zucchini cake!

Ok, so the next nine pictures you’re about to see are somewhat depressing. We’ve known about Rowan’s problem for a while, but we didn’t think she would booze it up in front of complete strangers at the wedding reception…

Do you see even the slightest inkling of guilt in her eyes? Or in her cheeks for that matter?

You must’ve said yes, because now she’s covered them up again…so much for an intervention.

What a pathetic sparkling pear juice bibber!

I’m sorry, were you offended by that comment? The truth hurts don’t it!?

Now she’s just trying to spite me by getting every…last…drop.

Are you done? How about now? Now?

Rowan had us all in shock for a moment when she said that she had started a 12-step program…which was to walk no more than 12 steps before getting more juice.

From this point on Rowan is really fuzzy on how the rest of her night went…

Oh no Drew! Not you too!

Hold on a second, you mean to tell me there’s even more dessert? The real photographer was first to get in line. It’s weird what you can get away with when you’re holding a gun…

There’s nothing quite like a shady spot to enjoy a third serving of cake.

Oh boy, now Ro-tipsy is standing in the receiving line trying to blow out the “fire” in the light bulbs.

Drew could only be a perfect gentleman for so long.  He says he was an innocent bystander and was splashed by mud…but his hands lead me to believe otherwise. Was it your brother Andy? Ha!

How great is this party Ellie? Are you up late again? You have to go to the bathroom? You want juice? Corndog? On a stick? Want to play some golf? What do you want? Oh I see! You’re looking at my slice of cake! 

Sign your life, I mean your name on the contract. That’s right! All you receptioners just got roped into a scam! Read the fine print! We’re gonna be rich!!

I didn’t give Ellie enough of my cake, so this is an action shot of her making a bee line for the fortress of fondant.

Where’s Waldo…er, I mean that little drunk Rowan? Pay no mind to the guy who showed up just for the food…

But for being of lady of the sauce, she still was quite helpful! Thanks Roastie! nom nom nom…

Sorry Ryan; the reception is over and the cake has been carried off. Maybe Eleanor will share whatever flavor she’s got on her hand if you ask her really nicely… 

Brinley didn’t catch Kassidy’s bouquet during the second opportunity she had to run off with it, so she improvised and caught her own hand-me-down bouquet. I don’t think that’s how it works Binnie!

Speaking of the rules, I don’t think boys who steal bouquets get anything. You were supposed to catch the garter! Mommy, what’s a garter? Nevermind!!!