Oscar Stew

During our “busycation” in Utah we had plenty of places to go, people to see, and things to do. Should I be specific: A wedding, two wedding receptions, a funeral, a baby blessing and a family reunion all inside two weeks! Whew! In the cracks and tight spaces between all that we squeezed in some of our own fun to maintain the sanity. We couldn’t think of a better way to start the entertainment than by throwing ourselves around on all the rides at Lagoon.

Our first stop on the park map was the Whip ‘n’ Hurl…I mean Tilt & Whirl. Maybe this wasn’t such a great idea…but laGoonies never say die!

Everybody but Eleanor got a chance to go on every ride more than once, thanks to built-in Ellie-sitters like Aunt Jenna… 

Look ma, almost no hands!

Ok, maybe that was a bit much for the first ride. This ride seems boring enough; it just goes up and rotates around for awhile…

Hmm, kinda getting high above the ground here…Drew looks worried.

Woosh! Aaaaaah! Somebody tell the operator that this ride is breaking! He just about cracked those rotten eggs open!

Rowan really did like the ride, honest! She said it was fun right after she got off. On the other hand, Drew hated it. mmhmmm…

Rowan didn’t have to wait till her next ride was over to decide that taking a powerboat along the canals of Venice was one of her favorites.

Drew’s only aviation experience is staring at a 3 inch DirecTV screen in 28B on Frontier, so it’s a little suspicious that he’s made the transition to seaplane pilot so quickly…

Extremely suspicious! Apparently Drew also gives helicopter lessons…does Rowan look confident in her instructor’s abilities?

I know this may come as a shock, but not even the adults get to go on every ride. Wish I could say that I wasn’t jealous of this one!

Things seem to be going ok here…but where’s Brinley?

We found Brinley down at the DMV passing her driver’s test. You don’t get extra credit for taking it early…10 more years Binnie, sorry!

Then it was Rowan’s turn to teach…Drew doesn’t appear to be all that confident in his motor mentor…

3 hours of amusement park rides + 95 degree heat = a serious fight over dippin’ dots. Mommeeeee!

Ok kids, now that you’ve recharged your sugar batteries, let’s step up the danger ladder a bit. Remember to keep yer hands up!

Doing great Brinley! You too, random red head girl. Rowan…not so much.

Even with Daddy’s arm wrapped tightly around her, Rowan’s just not so thrilled to be here!

Are you getting a little jealous Ellie? Don’t worry, Aunt Kristy will find the perfect ride for you.

Here we are…A ride on a flying elephant! It even comes with your own ape slave!

Sit down, shut up, & hold on! Here we go! Vrrrooommm!!!

Hold on tight Ellie, that elephant’s got a crazy look in his eye!

As if boating, flying, driving, and riding wild animals wasn’t enough, now it’s time for space travel.

Is that a power ranger or a thundercat? What kinda ride is this? Lean into that turn Binnie!

As they approached their destination Drew used the force to slow the spacecraft while Rowan sang the 2001: Space Odyssey theme song. I think we just got our movies criss-crossed…

Are the depths of the ocean the final frontier for today? Not even close! Anchors away! 

Sgt. Drew went for a bombing raid in the ole’ Helldiver. Bail out, you’ve caught fire!

At this point everybody was about expired…except for Daddy of course. Can’t you get this kind of ride out of your airplane?

Ok maybe not this one…the passengers on Ryan’s flights may have some not-so-positive feedback if he were to go inverted…

 We’ve reached the end of the park, time for the victory lap over the kingdom…

Of course, it’d be hard to get a stroller on board the Sky Ride, so someone had stay on the ground. Looks like there’s a breeze up there. Must. be. nice.

I know its hot Ellie, but I don’t think rubbing the ice cream on your seatbelt is an effective way to cool off…are you trying to save it for later?

What?! You’ve never heard of The Cones? Dude, they’re like, one of the most popular and influential grunge rock bands of the last 8 years man! Does their latest album cover jog your memory? C’mon bro, really?

This album is a live record from their Utah tour. They had a photographer follow them around on the tour bus and on stage. Check it out! 

Don’t freak out man, she’s not getting a fix. That’s Eleanor the leader singer. That girl’s gotta stay hydrated!

Some of the best tracks have been created on the bus. Rowan is laying down a new hit called “Bug Bite”. 

Ok, so the lead singer is a bit of a drama queen. The well of hydration ran out and there was no end to the agony emanating from those vocal chords…

The band got lucky when the bus rolled in to the first stop after Eleanor hit her highest note. The stage set was complete, and Ellie was all smiles!

Time for light and sound check. Hmm, looks like that lead singer isn’t totally drug-free. Oh, it’s just caramel popcorn. Just caramel popcorn? Have you ever had that stuff? Buzz-o-licious!

Sound check…hey, what’s she doing to the mic?

For rehearsal Ellie belted out a parody of “Teardrops On My Guitar” called “Dairy On My Calf”. Moo! Moo! Mooooooo!

The show is about to get back on the road! Let’s go over the choreography one more time:

Alright, hit it! Hit the road Jack, and don’t ya go back to McDoggles no more no more no more!

Every once in a while the treat becomes the main attraction of FHE night. When this happens it seems the lesson is forgotten, but the most important thing is doing something fun as a family. In this case, we headed to Red Robin for all you can eat (or drink?) root beer floats.

What’s goin’ on small fry? 

After we sat down we noticed a lot of stares from other tables. Then it hit us: Drew had come here without bottoms! Drew!?! When we said bottomless, we were talking about the drinks!

Are the fries getting a little too salty Ellie? Time to move on to the sweet stuff!

Go ahead Ellie, dive right in…Brinley style…

It’s awfully quiet around this table…where’s Rowan? Just listen for the sound of gulping…

That float stache is coming in nice Binnie. Make sure your Root to Float ratio remains constant! This is science in the summertime! 

Uh-oh, somebody’s well has run dry…Keep your shorts on Drew! Here comes another frosty mug!

Looks like Eleanor has mastered Brinley-style eating and added her own flair by throwing her head back…

Good thing you came up for some air Rowan; your face was turning a creamy brown!

Three mugs into the race Brinley got a strange look on her face. She started talking gibberish about a buzzing noise in the back of her head…

Hey waiter! What did you put in these drinks? These kids are lookin’ mighty suspicious to me! 

Oh I get it…sugar saturation level has peaked! As good as it tastes we just can’t swallow another sip, eh Eleanor?

Thanks for taking care of the tip Ellie. Where’d you get the money? Has anybody seen my wallet?

Was it worth it to drive clear across town to consume massive quantities of root beer and ice cream? Totally worth it, because we robbed us some balloons! Funny how honesty was the FHE lesson topic…Attaboy for positive reinforcement!