Oscar Stew

Don’t get the wrong impression, Rowan & Eleanor are not archrivals locked in a heated, epic battle of cute vs. funny. Roastie and Ellie are constantly doing hilarious things wherever we may be. Many times they can be caught doing those charming things together. Hmm, now that I’ve written this down, it’s extremely obvious: These two girls are locked in a heated battle of cute vs. funny! The good news is everybody wins! Alright, out to the front lines!

Whoa, wait a minute! I thought this was a friendly competition!

That’s a pretty sweet shiner you got there Ellie. Are you and Rowan really throwing punches?

Apparently so! Alright that’s it, break it up! What’s going on here?! Don’t you give me that stone face!

Ha! I knew you would crack under the pressure! Crack a smile that is…

Ok, so the truth has already been told in our last post. Both Ellie and Rowan got into fights with the bathtub and the bathtub won. That’s the story we’re selling anyway…

We took these two bruisers on another boxing adventure a couple weeks ago. So what does Ellie do while the bigs search for the letterbox? Just chill and look pretty…while sitting in the middle of the road!

Another important activity is to stay hydrated and fed…otherwise the junior tupperware hunters start to get cranky and make obnoxious loud noises…

Ellie knows the game you’re playin’ Rowan. No amount of kisses is going to earn you her Z-bar.

Sometimes the hydrated and fed rule only makes the littles louder…I can even feel myself straining for this cupcake right now!

Ellie, there’s evidence on your upper lip that you’ve had some already. You’re not hooked, are you?

Intruder Alert! Intruder Alert! Intruder Alert! Now it’s a battle for the last cupcake!

Better watch out Rowan, I think Ellie’s balling up her fist!

Trying to convince her that it’s yucky Rowan? Well, she may not like blueberries, but she knows what frosting is!

No sister rivalry after all? Aww, how nice! Caring is sharing!

Uh-oh, Rowan scooped up the cupcake and Eleanor immediately started to tense. I don’t think Ellie cares if the wrapper is on or off, since all she wants is the frosting anyway…

She also doesn’t want to be fed. An independent stubborn daughter of mine? Imagine that!

Have we reached a compromise Ellie? Has this illegal cupcake immigrant been granted amnesty?

Looks like a decision has been delayed on account of sugar-clouded judgment.

It came to a point that Elea-sweet had to go through a 12-step program to detox from all the sugary treats she was inhaling. Rowan was there by her side for moral support. C’mon Ellie, you can do it!

Alright! Yay for fiber…and its end result!

How’s it taste? A little rubbery & bland? The dressing should help, but don’t loosen your grip on that banana!

I see that this is going to take a while. The tabloids are going to lose interest in reporting on this celebrity…

But not if she relapses! Caramel popcorn?! Say it ain’t so!

It’s hard being almost 1½ with a hopeless addiction to sugar, isn’t it? Yeah, it looks real bad. Not cute or funny at all. Nope.

Keeping the sticky sweetness of your outside has not proved any easier than keeping it out of your insides either!

In case you were getting tired of sweets, Rowan wanted to share with you the familiar sounds of a private corner inside Costco…

Daddy, did Mommy really just take a picture of Rowan on the potty? As sure as I am that Rowan has plumber’s crack, she sure did!

It’s been a while since Cheddar made it into a blog post. He’s a nice, affectionate cat, but there’s still plenty you can do that will annoy him…

Making him a babysitter is probably somewhere on the top of his list. The problem is that it’s hilarious!

It’s a good thing you’re cute, because this is not hilarious. Especially when it’s the 15th time I’ve had to clean this mess up in two days!

Are you trying to present a solution to your incessant drawer destruction? I don’t think spray glue is going to do the trick unless we glue your hands to your knees. That sounds like something a loving mother would do, don’t you think?

Ms. Eleanor, can you please identify for the jury the person who threatened you with the spray glue?

Ladies & Gentlemen, please direct your attention the glass where my assistant Rowan recreates the crime scene with extreme detail…

Are you sure Ms. Eleanor? May I remind that you are under oath? Are you pointing to the reflection of the cat in the camera lens? Meowjection!

While the jury deliberated for days, it was back to the usual routine, starting with an early morning cup of joe…

…Chocolate joe, that is. Rowan has her own particular way of enjoying a beverage…

Thanks, but we didn’t really need another demonstration…

Meanwhile, the defendant kept living her flamboyant lifestyle.

The evening came, and the jury had made a decision. Ms. Eleanor wore Polka-Dot Panda„¢ and appeared confident that the verdict would be in her favor.

Guilty on all counts! Aggravated Physical Assault on a thread drawer, Vandalism & and Disturbing the Peace… 

Shocked? Devastated? Just plain tired? Ok, nigh-night!

I know that this never happens at your house, but occasionally our kids don’t always make it to bed on time. Such was the case on this particular evening. Showered, jammied, teeth brushed and ready for bed, but Rowan wouldn’t go to sleep until every hair on her head was thoroughly baked. It’s all part of her evil plot…

This part of the plot didn’t work out as well as Rowan hoped. In an attempt to keep herself awake she stripped herself down Calvin & Hobbes style, but couldn’t quite get her jammies…off…before…yawn…zzzzzzzzzzzz…

The beautiful streamers and balloons that graced the sleeping chambers of the Zebra were quite a sight to behold. Unfortunately, the timing was off. Don’t get me wrong, the decorations were up for Rowan’s big 3rd birthday, but does she look like she’s ready to party? cough, cough…

Got a nasty cough & cold Roastie? That’s too bad. What is that I see peeking out from under your eye?

Ouchy, nice shiner!  She earned that badge of courage a few days before in a heated battle with a bathtub fixture.

It was apparent that a big fancy cake and presents were the last thing on her mind. That’s ok, we can defer the festivities for another day. But a cupcake is the least we can do while you’re down in the dumps. Feel better soon ok?!

Ahh, there’s my Ro-diggity! It’s only been a couple of days and she’s feeling brand new. That feeling can’t help but be intensified by the creation right in front of her! Keep an eye on Daddy! He might swipe a lick of frosting! Hey, it looks like you’re the one doing the swiping!

The real point of keeping Rowan involved with the cake is that the elements of surprise are being taken care of upstairs. Make sure you use up all of that crusty old Christmas wrapping paper! We don’t want any snow-related holiday reminders sitting around the house in June! 

What’s for lunch? Sugar-baked Zebra head. Yum!

Happy turd birthday Rowan! Turd? Yeah, don’t be a turd; blow those candles out and let’s eat! 

How’s that zebra head taste? A little gamey?

Well, it doesn’t seem to bother this wild animal…

She must have heard that her presents were ready, because now she’s just stuffing it down the hatch. Whoa cute-striped-pony, whoa!

Oooh and you covered your mouth! How lady-like!

The shades were a much needed replacement for her old broken ones. Meanwhile, Rowan’s stable of hoofed animals seems to have no limit. She’s got 6 different forms of zebra…and now she’s breaking into horses?! 

I wonder if Rowan will work with animals when she’s older. She seems to love all creatures…with the exception of bugs. She might be tough, rough, and full of fire, but she’s a girly girl at heart.

Remember when I said rough? That wild appetite cannot be tamed!

Rowan have you put on some weight, or is that just a Zebra hiding under your shirt? Ha! Looking good Roastie!

Every once in a while the treat becomes the main attraction of FHE night. When this happens it seems the lesson is forgotten, but the most important thing is doing something fun as a family. In this case, we headed to Red Robin for all you can eat (or drink?) root beer floats.

What’s goin’ on small fry? 

After we sat down we noticed a lot of stares from other tables. Then it hit us: Drew had come here without bottoms! Drew!?! When we said bottomless, we were talking about the drinks!

Are the fries getting a little too salty Ellie? Time to move on to the sweet stuff!

Go ahead Ellie, dive right in…Brinley style…

It’s awfully quiet around this table…where’s Rowan? Just listen for the sound of gulping…

That float stache is coming in nice Binnie. Make sure your Root to Float ratio remains constant! This is science in the summertime! 

Uh-oh, somebody’s well has run dry…Keep your shorts on Drew! Here comes another frosty mug!

Looks like Eleanor has mastered Brinley-style eating and added her own flair by throwing her head back…

Good thing you came up for some air Rowan; your face was turning a creamy brown!

Three mugs into the race Brinley got a strange look on her face. She started talking gibberish about a buzzing noise in the back of her head…

Hey waiter! What did you put in these drinks? These kids are lookin’ mighty suspicious to me! 

Oh I get it…sugar saturation level has peaked! As good as it tastes we just can’t swallow another sip, eh Eleanor?

Thanks for taking care of the tip Ellie. Where’d you get the money? Has anybody seen my wallet?

Was it worth it to drive clear across town to consume massive quantities of root beer and ice cream? Totally worth it, because we robbed us some balloons! Funny how honesty was the FHE lesson topic…Attaboy for positive reinforcement!