Oscar Stew

The Tour de Utah is almost complete! It’s a good thing too, because we’ve got a lot of other news to cover: Fashion trends, war, education, climate change…the regular stuff, y’know? Now, it’s time to get dolled up and party for the second time!

Don’t mind the mamarazzi Ellie; she’s getting paid to capture this extreme mop makeover. Lookin’ hot!

Eleanore’s doing a good job on your hair, don’t you think Eleanor? Wait what?! 2 Eleanor’s in the same room? Whoa Nelly!

The kids are lookin’ sharp! And Brinley is looking sharp to the left! Brinley!!!

In rare cases, even human mothers have been known to eat their own young…especially when they’re so darn cute!

Forget the bride & the groom; THIS is the main attraction!

If an endless supply of soft-serve ice cream wasn’t enough, there were too many toppings to choose from!

What will this celebrity choose? The tabloid-news-addicted-world awaits!

There never really was a doubt what Binnie would do. Of course she would get swirl, because that’s 2 flavors instead of one…

And since there are 6 different topping choices, this six-year-old chose to get them all. Have some ice cream with your toppings, will ya?!

This, is a serious in-depth conversation about toppings:

I know that cookie isn’t satisfying your urge for ice cream Ellie, but I really wanted to get this picture of this happy couple.

“Dinosaur” Grandpa won’t take a bite out of you or your cookie, Ellie. But Mommy still might!

Hey Rowan? I don’t think any amount of shaking Kristy is going to get you a glass of sparking pear juice! Remember the steps!

Step 1: Show love for the new relatives in your life. 

Step 2: Get your old relatives and friends to satisfy your cravings with cheap thrills. This program is awesome!

“Hey Rowan, I can see your butt.”

“Don’t see my butt.”

“But Roastie, I can see Dora!”

“Daddy! Stop it!”

That coiffure is still looking pretty cool Bin-bob.

Oooh! From the side it’s even better! Don’t take this the wrong way, but you look kinda old and grown-uppish! Scary…

Did they actually run out of ice cream, or is Brinley just getting herself into another kind of dip?

What are we doing here? The Foxtrot? Moonwalk? Oh, Ring Around the Rosy? Somebody tell Kristy!

Dancing is great for people who haven’t figured out ways to make easy money, right Drew?!

But where’s Ellie? Ah, there she is, trying to muscle down half a cup of ice cream. She just kept eatin’ and eatin’ and eatin’…she must’ve had 2 spoonfuls! Thanks for keeping her dress dairy free Jenna!