Oscar Stew

Welcome to the Bissell Vacuum National Speedway! You’ve made it just in time for today’s most exciting race in the 12-Amp category. In the left lane is Brinley at the handle of a Powerforce Bagless. And in the right lane is Drew who will be pushing the much heavier Liftoff Revolution. Does that thing got a hemi?!

Racers, start your vacuums! Look at those game faces!

Drew & Brinley both complete their burnouts and pull up to the deep stage line. Prepare for blast off!

And they’re off! Drew takes an early lead. Be careful Drew, what that girl doesn’t have in torque she makes up for in top speed! She knows how to sneak up from behind!

And here she comes! Pops a wheelie and cuts in front of Drew. But is the carpet clean? Drew is calling foul, claiming Brinley’s vaccuum light works and his doesn’t. And is that nitrous that I smell?

School is back in full swing. The nights are getting cooler. But summer still has another 5 weeks to go! We are determined to make it last as long as possible.

Last weekend we made it to the last outdoor movie night. The kids had plenty to do between eating, jumping around in bounce castles, not to mention face paint… (thanks for the pictures, Staci!)

For the record, that is a butterfly on Binnie’s face, and don’t tell her otherwise. Yep, that’s me in the background mopping the lemonade off my pants, courtesy of Kung-Fu-Rowan.

Today was girl’s day out at the beach. Ro-dog took charge and schooled her posse in the ways of proper sand recreation. First you smear it on your legs like this…

And then attempt to bury yourself like this! Keep digging Ro, we are going to need that skill come planting season next spring!

Brinley got busy building yet another mansion of mud. Did you really expect something different?

What’s better than building with your best friend?

I brought Rowan a sippy cup full of fresh water, but apparently this was more convenient…

Ewww…what’s that fishy aftertaste?

And we’re live! Thanks for joining us tonight here at OscarStew Arena. We are ringside for a barnburner of a matchup! In the blue corner, wearing no shorts at all and weighing in at approximately 21 pounds, please give it up for the Italian Stallion, Rowan!!! And in the red corner, incapable of wearing shorts and weighing in at 4 square inches of cheesy, meaty goodness, it’s La-La-Lasagna!!!

Ding ding ding! Rowan comes out swinging with a quick right jab.

Aw folks, it appears this bout is one-sided, that lasagna is already on the ropes!

And just like that we got a fight! A hard-hitting straight right to Rowan’s left eye!

Looks like they’ll be going pound for pound, round after round!

Clinches, below the belt punches, dirty fighting, we’ve seen it all here tonight. Just look at the ugly split over Rowan’s eye! What a brawler!

Smack! The lasagna kisses the canvas and is down for the count! 1…2…

…10! TKO! Rowan is the undisputed heavyweight champion!